Madonna Hates Hydrangeas, Hamptons Love Them

Madonna loathes hydrangeas. It’s true. Said so herself at the Venice Film Festival during a press conference for her upcoming movie W.E. Sparked an international incident. Scandalous.

Madonna reiterated her point in a video “apology.” The kind of apology one might expect from the Corleone family.

Reactions in the Hamptons to the incident have been fiery. Gardeners were buzzing about the Queen of Pop’s unprovoked outburst and wondering what it would mean for local hydrangea-based economies. A pair of media execs from Manhattan, who wish to remain anonymous at this point given the obvious delicate nature of the situation, spoke in hushed tones outside Pierre’s in Bridgehampton about their newly formed advocacy group, Hamptonians 4 Hydrangreas, and what form their first public statement would take. The North Fork Hydrangeaphile Cooperative will be holding a vigil at an as yet undisclosed location.

Hogweed? Detestable. Poison ivy? An abomination. Even hostility toward Virginia Creeper seems reasonable enough. But we ask, Ms. Ciccone, what is there to hate about hydrangeas? You don’t need to love them, mind you, but hate? Such an ugly word, especially for flowers that brighten many gardens in the Hamptons and even adorn the masthead of the East Hampton Garden Club website.

Madonna says she likes roses. And clearly she does, having authored The English Roses as if to prove that point years ago. But is there not enough love in the Material Girl’s heart for more than one flowering bit of flora?

We can only hope that if she returns for the Hamptons International Film Festival, no more hydrangea hysteria will ensue.

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