The How to Grow a Soul Mate Checklist

As to meeting a potential Soul Mate, it’s not about where you go—charity functions, bars, the Internet. In other words, it’s not about what you do; it’s about how you do it, how you act, the kind of energy you send out. Where you go to meet people is irrelevant. Taking this advice “magnetizes” the right person to you. Use these checklists to discern whom you do and don’t want. Begin to act accordingly, and see what happens.

1.      Never take each other for granted. Show how lucky you feel to know each other and make sure to spend as much time together as possible. Work together, if you can. Giving little gifts for no special reason will delight your partner and yourself!

2.      Treat each other as equals. You may not have the same background, looks, talents, connections, power, or potential, but you are two halves of the same team. Act like it.

3.      Always compliment each other on good qualities and do it several times a day. If you like the way he/she looks, smells, or makes you feel today, say so.

4.      Have concern for each other’s total welfare, even if it causes you to reverse yourself on some long-cherished notion. Make the other person’s needs as important as your own. Once you have determined that you have found your Soul Mate, you can make his/her needs more important than your own. Don’t worry—you will want to do so.

5.      Be kind. Really listen to each other’s words, and try to understand each other’s position. Do not assume that you know how the other feels. Ask when you want to know something. Never refuse to communicate.

6.      Get to the root of anger, frustration, anxiety, and fear. Learn to tell when you are the problem and when you might be the solution, and try to be the solution more often than the problem.

7.      Always show how happy you are to see each other and smile, even if you are in the middle of hearing the most annoying news. Remember, you are each the most important and powerful thing in each other’s lives. Everything else is secondary.

8.      Forgive each other and mean it. Have the courage to be imperfect. Admit it when you are wrong. Assume that you could be wrong, even when you think you are right; it is not as hard as it sounds.

9.      Always use criticism carefully and constructively. Do not demand change from anyone but yourself. Do not demand change from anyone but yourself. It’s important enough to say twice.

10.    Share and explore your fantasies, dreams for the future, and the dreams you awaken from. Never go to sleep angry. Making up can do wonders for your ability to sleep soundly.

11.    Compromise whenever possible, especially on matters of taste. Eat the same food so your breaths will smell the same. If that is impossible, do not eat foods or wear scents, styles, and colors that offend your Soul Mate.

12.    Keep a positive attitude and a sense of humor, especially about yourself. No matter what happens, if you two are together, relatively healthy, and your bills are paid, laugh at the other stuff.

If your potential partner resists these twelve rules for Soul Mate nurturing, or if she or he does not treat you with the same caring and kindness, you will have to tell her or him. Don’t give up on her/him if she/he makes an effort to change after you gently and tactfully make her/him aware of your concerns.

© Monte Farber, from his book THE SOULMATE PATH

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