Someone’s Been Sleeping In My Bed

So the three bears came downstairs to the kitchen table and the papa bear said “Someone’s Been Eating My Porridge.” Then the momma bear said “Someone’s Been Eating My Porridge.” And then the little baby bear took one look at his bowl and said “Someone’s been eating my porridge, and they’ve eaten it all up!”

The book containing this story may or may not have been what Quamine Taylor, age 30, was reading when he tucked himself into hip hop mogul P. Diddy’s East Hampton bed for the night on March 31, but if he wasn’t he was in any case following the plot of it pretty closely.

Taylor came out from Jamaica on the train earlier that afternoon. He took a cab up to the house, got around the gate and the hedges, found an unlocked door to the basement, that when opened did not trigger off the alarm system, and went inside. Nobody was home. He went upstairs to the kitchen, then ate some of the food from the refrigerator, drank some booze from the bar, played some music, watched some TV, tried on P. Diddy’s clothes (they didn’t fit, Taylor is 6’ 5”) then late that night went up to bed and to sleep.

At 4 p.m. the next day, the caretaker for this house, which is the site of a spectacular P. Diddy party every summer, found Taylor.

Earlier in the day, he had convinced a man from the security alarm system who arrived with a police officer to investigate an alarm going off that he was a friend of P. Diddy and it was okay he was there. That had worked with those two, who left after Taylor told them who he was. This approach didn’t work on the caretaker, though. He called the police, who came and arrested Taylor. Taylor, who is a resident of Queens, is currently in the Suffolk County Jail charged with trespassing and petit larceny. He was unable to post a $2,000 bail.

An enterprising reporter from The New York Post went to visit Taylor in the visitation room and got an interview with him.

“I’ve actually been going to the house from time to time since 2001,” he told The Post reporter. “I stay there a lot but Sean gets funny sometimes about me staying there.”

Indeed, he had been caught staying there back in 2001.

“I really didn’t go to Diddy’s house because I’m a big fan of his,” Taylor continued to The Post reporter. “I just wanted to get out of the city for a while. I was actually hoping to stay like 15 to 17 days.”

Well, he is out of the city for a while. It just isn’t in as sumptuous digs as he’s used to.

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