Hamptons Police Blotter: Old Man McGumbus Is Arrested For Beating Hippie With Baseball Bat

If you were a hippie on a bicycle this week, you didn’t want to be in the path of Old Man McGumbus, who has simply had it with these cyclists who ride in the middle of the street. A woman in Springs also chased a man with a knife. It was a weird week.

Leandra’s Law
A man on the North Fork was arrested and charged with felony driving while intoxicated after he was pulled over by police and found to be drunk while driving with a 3-year-old child in the car. Ugh, people are awful.

Jewelry
A Southampton window cleaner was arrested after he was caught stealing jewelry from a home that he was working on. The owners began getting suspicious when the man started showing up to work blinged out.

CAUGHT
A woman in Springs was arrested after she chased after her mom’s boyfriend with a knife in the front yard of their home. This occurred after an argument broke out between the two of them. Nobody was injured during the attack or during her arrest.

But I Love Her!
A man in East Hampton was arrested after he went to see his wife. Normally this isn’t a problem, but it becomes one when there is a court order in place to stay away from
your wife.

Camera Man
A man in East Hampton rented his home out for the summer to a family that didn’t know about the security cameras in the home. They are suing the man for $4.6 million for spying on them and invading their privacy. The man says the cameras were set up to protect against squatters inside of his home.

Oxy Not So Clean
A woman in Southampton was arrested after she forged a doctors prescription and changed the amount of Oxycodone pills she was prescribed. The woman doubled her prescription by more than 130 pills.

Shelter Island
In a private sting operation, Shelter Island resident Old Man McGumbus, who is 107 years old, President and Founder of the Shelter Island Safety Association, and Medal of Honor recipient during World War II for killing five Nazis by beating them to death with his helmet, was arrested last week for assault with a deadly weapon. McGumbus was observed hiding in the woods in full military camouflage waiting for grown men on bicycles to ride by. When a man on a bicycle would ride by, McGumbus would pop out of the woods with a baseball bat, and stick it into the spokes of the bicycle and then shout, “God damn hippies who should either march to their destination like a man or get a car, and to stop dressing like children.”

Read more of the Hamptons Police Blotter at www.danshamptons.com

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