The Hamptons Subway: Week of November 16 – 22, 2012

Riders this past week: 9,411
Rider miles this past week: 89,822

DOWN IN THE TUBE
Lindsay Lohan, who stars in the new movie Liz & Dick, was seen taking the subway to Sag Harbor to visit her father and sitting across from Daniel Day Lewis, who stars in the new movie Lincoln. They seemed not to notice
each other.

LIGHTS STILL OUT IN OUR TUNNELS
Along with many others, we have filed a complaint with LIPA about their not being able to restore power properly since Hurricane Sandy. The passengers do not notice this, however, at least half the time. We have taken small generators down to the platforms, which provide lighting on the platforms and in the token booths on alternate days, since the gasoline that powers the generators is only available to us on even days for some stations and odd days for other stations. To get the complete list of which days your platform has power, go to our website hamptonsubway.com and click on “let there be light.” There is no generator power to the escalators to the platforms, though, so whenever you come, though the escalators appear not to be working, we have posted signs on them which say STAIRS, so they are still considered working, just not escalators.
If lighting is provided on the platforms because of our generators, down in the tunnels between the platforms, it is not. The tunnels are dark, and the subway trains go very slow because directly in front of each one of them is a man swinging a lantern looking out for the backs of other trains they might come upon, and the trainmen don’t want to run these folks over. So just be patient. You will get there eventually.

BEGGARS, PEDDLERS AND MUSICIANS RESUME
Because of the lighting of the platforms on Day Three, when for the first time we located volunteer employees not too scared to go down there and start the generators up, we have allowed beggars, peddlers and musicians to return to the system, but only on the platforms. Enjoy the music, put your dimes and nickels into the hats of the beggars and buy the medals, postcards and American flags being offered by the peddlers. It’s just like normal until you get into the tunnels but then it is too dark to see anything anyway.

ENDANGERED SPECIES
Environmentalists have discovered two groups of animals that are on the endangered list living in our tunnels. One group consists of a den of rare Bavarian Tunnel Rats who have been located in a storage room on the north side of the tunnel connecting Water Mill and Bridgehampton. The other group consists of a coven of flightless black saber-toothed hawks that have been found living in a storage room on the south side of the same tunnel, directly across from the rats.
At the present time, the two groups are fighting with each other on the tracks between them in some kind of territorial dispute. As they are endangered species, no humans are allowed to interfere, touch or harm them.
So the fight goes on. The environmentalists are just hoping and praying that one or the other of the groups is not completely wiped out. These are the only two places these species are known to exist.

COMMISSIONER ASPINALL’S MESSAGE
Hampton Subway took a huge financial hit last week when our investment in a new under construction subway system on Staten Island was totally wiped out by Superstorm Sandy. Compared to other problems there, though, this is nothing.

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