Old Man McGumbus Covers Shelter Island in Snow

Old Man McGumbus, 104-years-old, President of the Shelter Island Sand Paper Junction and former World War II Purple Heart hero, brought to Shelter Island 400 snowmakers and activated them at midnight last night.

The entire island is now covered with snow because, as stated in a formal Press Release by McGumbus, “I have done this because, so help me God, the children of Shelter Island are going to have a white Christmas because that is how God intended it for them.”

McGumbus also dress up as Santa Claus and constructed, at his own expense, a 2,000 foot ski mountain with a ramp at the end where children and parents, for free, can go sledding on. The Old Man, who is also the owner of Shelter Island Radio and Television Inc., has been broadcasting 24-7 Christmas music instead of the usual programming, which is simply a rotator of various speeches that were made by General Patton.

Mr. McGumbus, who did not get any permits for the mountain or the snow making machines, has not been fined.

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