Hamptons Police Blotter: Stolen Credit Cards, Big Fights and Drug Busts

Drug busts, fights and of course, Old Man McGumbus on Shelter Island filled the radio waves this week in the Hamptons.

Drug Busting
The East End Drug Task Force arrested a man in Southampton after a long investigation resulted in a raid that uncovered heroin, cocaine, pills, marijuana, scales, packing materials and large quantities of cash. A fine job by this organization—keep it up.

No License
A woman in Westhampton is facing charges of possession of marijuana, in addition to charges of growing cannabis without a license. The arrest has prompted some serious questions, most notably, since when can you get a license to grow cannabis in the Hamptons?

North Fork Fight
Three men were arrested in Greenport following a large altercation that broke out between rival factions in the middle of the night. Onlookers report that the brawl was between the dangerous Greenport gangs known as the Flukes and the Crabs.

Shelter Island
A fight broke out at The Wet Clam bar on the corner of Shark Fin Street and Scallop Lane and ended up moving all the way down to the intersection of Blue Crab Avenue and Horse Shoe Crab Lane. The fight took place at 3 a.m. and involved all 17 members of the Shelter Island Flamethrower Society. Old Man McGumbus, 103 years old, current SIFTS President and former World War II Flamethrower Squadron Leader, was arrested for assault with a deadly weapon after he threw a bottle of Wild Turkey at a hipster. The fight between the hipsters and the SIFTS lasted for nearly two hours, mainly because the hipsters would repeatedly threaten to film the incident on their cell phones, and the old men kept beating them with empty booze bottles. McGumbus was tackled and handcuffed by police as he attempted to strap on his flamethrower, which he carries in the back of his car.

Stolen Credit Card
Police are looking for a woman in Hampton Bays who used a stolen credit card to buy groceries. Surveillance cameras were not able to get clear enough footage to identify the woman, but they did notice that she seems to have a taste for Hot Pockets.

This One’s a Classic
Well, if this isn’t a case for the Hamptons record books, we don’t know what is. A trophy from the Hampton Classic was stolen, bought by another party at a yard sale, and then found for sale on eBay. Want the rest of the story? You’ll have to turn to page 39.

 

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