The Hampton Subway Newsletter: June 13 – 19

Riders this past week: 13,989
Rider miles this past week: 103,900

DOWN IN THE TUBE
Many former baseball stars who have played in the Artist-Writers Softball Game in East Hampton over the years have been seen on the Hampton Subway during this past week. They include Bianca Jagger, Christie Brinkley, Billy Joel and Paul Simon, and they are all heading for East Hampton from near and far. Could it be that they are coming to view the Artist-Writers Softball Exhibit at Guild Hall? Perhaps.

Also seen on the subway was an author who would not give his name, traveling from Sag Harbor to Shelter Island through the tunnel. He is entering the Dan’s Papers $6,000 Literary Competition and is going to the Island for a little peace and quiet, he said.

(This is a plug for the competition. Go to danshamptons.com/literaryprize.)

RAIN DELAYS
Like many public transport systems, Hampton Subway suffered through some delays last week during the torrential rains we had. It’s not that the Subway system got flooded or anything, but just knowing about the flooding above got the staff moving a bit slower.

FUNDRAISER LAST WEEK
Nearly a million dollars was raised on Saturday at the first annual Homeless People Who Sleep on the Subway Society gala. The Lone Sharks played. Howard Stern emceed. Catering was by Daniel Boulud. And apologies go out to the 14 homeless people who were escorted out from the Southampton Station for the night so the gay time could be had by all.

SUPERCAR WRECKED
The new Supercar which came in two weeks ago and has been undergoing testing and fitting out in our Montauk Yard is no more. Commissioner Aspinall, who designed the car with turbochargers, chrome, four on the floor, tailfins and duals, took it out for a spin at 2 a.m. Wednesday morning, when the system is closed for maintenance. According to reports, he got it halfway around the system and was heading home along the Noyac straightaway when at high speed he failed to make a turn and wound up, after Supercar went airborne and did a 360, in the center of Trout Pond. The train is a total loss, and for the commissioner, it is touch and go in the hospital now and we are praying that he is not a total loss too.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
We celebrate all our staff members’ birthdays at lunchtime in the company cafeteria in Hampton Bays when the time comes. Since we have 6 motormen, 14 flagmen, 12 token booth operators, 14 in maintenance, 3 in promotion, 6 in clerical and 4 in the executive offices, we have a birthday party nearly every week. But here is a first. Alice Baxter, a new clerk, asked for, and got permission to have a birthday party for her cat Theonia.
Theonia is black and white, is two years old and was brought into work for the occasion by Alice. Everybody got a chance to pet the cat. Alice tried to get them to stop saying the cat bites, but it was too late.

COMMISSIONER ASPINALL’S MESSAGE
The pain I am suffering through is quite severe so I just have this button I press and it all goes away. I don’t know. I’m really mad about Supercar. It should have made the turn. I should have gone up on two wheels, yes, and it did that, but then it should have come back down. I think we ought to sue that Canadian company I ordered them from, Bombardier, I think it was, or Blitzkrieg. This is their fault. Ow. Nurse?

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