A recent email sent by the Sag Harbor Chamber of Commerce noted a number of important events, including such headlines as “Harborfest Celebrates 50 years,” “Buy a Raffle, Win a WHALE” and “Sag Harbor on Channel 12 News.” These are all very big deals. But, perhaps overlooked by the masses, was the one line that seems to be a game changer.
“Village Bathrooms Now Open on Weekends.”
The Municipal Building bathrooms will now be open on weekends from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. through Columbus Day weekend. Bathroom attendants are provided as a courtesy of the Chamber of Commerce.
This is no small thing. The average person goes to the bathroom six to eight times per day, so that alone would be cause for joy among the shoppers and strollers in Sag Harbor. But spending time in this quaint village is no average experience. Walking around, enjoying an ice cream from Olaf’s or a cocktail at B. Smith’s or just being surrounded by all that water, the average visitor surely needs the use of a bathroom more than the average person, no?
So please, partake. And if you need to ask somebody where to find the bathroom, don’t be afraid to use that term, by the way. Yes, this is Sag Harbor, so you might be inclined to think that a euphemism like “facilities” or “comfort station” or “lavatory” would be more appropriate. You’d be incorrect. Let’s be clear. Bathroom is an undervalued word, implying cleanliness and privacy while not hiding your true intensions. I’ve heard all sorts of other roundabout ways of saying where you need to go, and I’m going to beg you here to not go there.
I’ve heard people say they have to “take care of business,” which is going to make me thing way too much about shaking hands on my next business transaction. “Go to the loo” is too Dr. Seussian, and we’re 3000 miles from England. “Hit the head” doesn’t fly, even in a whaling town—you’re not on a boat. I’ve heard people claim to “have to see a man about a horse,” which in such a confined space is an utterly terrifying notion. Even “restroom” implies something else, like maybe the potential of a quick snooze or some such thing. If you need a rest, sit on one of the benches and soak in the view of Sag Harbor. It’s lovely. Besides, there’s no time to rest—there are people waiting to use the bathroom, you know.