Call it pre-Halloween jitters, but numerous frightened locals called to report sightings of a spectral ferryboat plying the waters between North Haven and Shelter Island. The sightings all occurred during the middle of the night, when regular ferry service is suspended. Callers described a cloudy, translucent vessel of an ancient appearance, with torn sails and dilapidated rigging, piloted by a cackling skeleton wearing a long dark robe. Police were advising callers to take aspirin and get a good night’s rest until one night when a call came in that a driver, apparently under the impression that the ghost boat was real (and additionally untroubled by the ghastly ferryman), had driven his 2003 Chevy Impala off the edge of the South Ferry landing and into the water. The man escaped from the sinking vehicle, but police have placed the area under surveillance.
The Little Easy
You know how it is when you attack and rob an employee at a pub at 4:55 in the morning, and then he calls the police and you wind up getting chased around the neighborhood by a bunch of officers (including a canine unit and an aviation unit), and then they catch you. Then they find the drugs you’ve got on you, and now you’re dealing with the robbery charge, the drug charge, plus trespassing, resisting arrest, and so on. People don’t appreciate how stressful this is, and there’s no way to prepare for it.
Lost Her Marbles
A film-star talkback following a screening at Guild Hall during the Hamptons International Film Festival was disrupted when an audience member stood up and started shouting incoherently about whether the film stars on stage knew how to play marbles. Acting with admirable alacrity, three orderlies dressed in white ran down the aisle, strapped the woman flailing and gibbering into a straight-jacket, and pulled her out into a waiting medical transport.
McGumbus Goes to the Mall
Old Man McGumbus, 103 years old and a WWII combat veteran, who was in Washington D.C. to speak at a Tea Party rally on the National Mall, was instead taken into police custody on Sunday morning. It seems McGumbus, who’s known to possess an expansive arsenal of antique weapons, had set up a makeshift “gun museum” in front of the Lincoln Memorial and was charging admission to unsuspecting foreigners who weren’t aware of the shutdown. “It’s a sorry state of affairs when a man can’t even start his own business where he wants to,” said McGumbus.