Keep Fit: Winter Trivia Wins Are Not Trivial Matters at Townline BBQ

I ran a half marathon on Sunday, but I’m still too exhausted to talk about that. Thursday nights are typically reserved for marathons, albeit of a more sedentary variety. The Dan’s Papers Trivia Team is embroiled in a marathon race to secure the Townline BBQ trophy of trivia excellence. And, for the first time in weeks, we nailed a first-place finish and a whopping $68 each.

I was the last to arrive, as per usual. I handed $20 to Quizmaster Paul before heading up to the bar, and when he gave me my $10 in change, I responded, “This will be good practice for the next time you hand me money tonight.”

Kelly Laffey, writer extraordinaire and a very specific kind of fortuneteller?

Despite my initial confidence, the night was fraught with intensity at the table, and our first snafu came early in the opening round, titled “It’s So Cold.” Quizmaster Paul announced that he was about to ask the question posted on the Townline Facebook page earlier that day, aka “Here’s a freebie, y’all!” and team leader Brendan and I—the most tech savvy of the group, as two of the other three members don’t even own a cell phone—tentatively turned to each other. Without even asking, we knew the answer to the question written on our faces. “Did you check the Facebook page?” No!

But like a slow motion scene in a horror movie, Paul continued:

“In 2013, a city in which country was named the Slurpee Capital of the World for the 14th year in a row?”

Montauk 7-Eleven was just named the country’s highest grossing. Is the U.S. too obvious an answer? We went with Japan. Wrong. The answer only required us to look up to America’s hat. That’s right, Canadians dig Slurpees. Who would have known that, eh?

We shook off the missed point, and after Round 1, we found ourselves one point out of first place in a multi-way tie for second.

The night continued in a tighter fashion than most. Ties for the top three in-the-money slots constantly defined the rounds, and we flirted with first, second and third place throughout the evening. Which meant that every point mattered. We rebounded by rocking Round 4, the “find the pattern” visual round, which asked us to identify the names of various fabric patterns. Thanks, not-tech-savvy-player-#1, Stacy, tote bag maker extraordinaire.

We entered the final round in the top three. As per usual, it was a “name that movie” audio round. I normally check out of this round, as I’m far from a movie buff. I’m more of a movie couch potato. Or whatever the opposite of a “buff” is. The first clip was a quote I had never heard, but I thought I recognized the voice… Same for movie clip #2. And #3… Will Ferrell! Thankful that I subscribe to his frat-tastic style of humor. We collectively came up with 10 solid answers, though a last-minute pumping of the breaks by Brendan allowed us to correctly replace Kicking and Screaming with Blades of Glory.

The final results came in…We had gone 10 for 10 and were in a two-way tie for first place with The Spunky Brewsters. To split the pot or go for the gold? We wanted to walk away, but somehow ended up multiplying the number of Slurpees Montauk’s 7-Eleven sells per day by the number of 7-Elevens we think are in Manitoba, Canada, times 365 to determine how many Slurpees are consumed in that Slurpee-loving providence per year. Does that make sense? No? Good. We submitted 6 million to the tie-breaker. The correct answer: 30 million. We were far off, but not as far off as The Spunky Brewsters’ 250,000!

Clearly, victory is best served cold.

The Townline BBQ boar

The Townline BBQ boar. We’ll just assume his name is Boris, Photo: Brendan J. O’Reilly

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