Twentysomething…

By David Lion Rattiner

Matt Is Getting Married
I remember meeting Matt McElreth for the first time. I was eighteen years old and was moving into my dorm room at Northeastern University in Boston for my freshman year. Matt was my roommate. Not by choice, of course. However, if I knew then what I know now about the kid, I wouldn’t have chosen anybody else at that school for a roommate.

Matt and I have become good buddies over the years, even though he comes from Massachusetts, is a Boston Red Sox Fan, likes death metal (I like rap) and smells funny. The guy is his own guy and always means well and I have a lot of respect for him. After all, both of us have spent hours in our dorm room together, playing countless hours of Internet video games and debating on who is hotter, Britney Spears or Jessica Simpson. There is nothing more sophisticated than two college freshman boys soaking up endless knowledge about the world.

But now the debate is over. Jessica Simpson is definitely hotter. But although we now have very different lives (Matt lives in a suburb outside of Boston near his family and works as a computer guy for a luxury refrigerator company) I still get and give phone calls to the same guy that I used to worry about seeing me naked while changing in the morning.

The other day, Matt called me to tell me some news that has dramatically changed our relationship.

“Dave, it’s Matt.”

“Matt Red Sox fan-Matt or Matt I’m a terrible rollerblader -Matt?”

“Shut up”

“What can I do for you my friend?”

“Dude, I’m getting married.”

Okay I have to take a breath here. First of all, anybody that says the word dude at the beginning of a sentence should not be getting married.

“You are getting married? To whom?”

“Shut up. You know who.”

Matt was talking about his girlfriend of forever, Jackie, whom he met sophomore year. Jackie and Matt share the same musical tastes (bad music that is) and the two of them were peas and carrots. To be honest, I wasn’t surprised to hear that the two were tying the Slipknot.

“What the hell is wrong with you? You are getting married?”

“Yeah, dude. I’m calling because I want you to come to the wedding.”

I was suddenly flattered. I wouldn’t miss this opportunity to embarrass Matt in front of his entire family for the world.

“When is it?”

“February of 2008.”

And just like that, I had a newfound respect for my friend Matt. He was planning more than a year in advance, a very adult thing to do, and I kind of had a mini-panic about the whole thing. I don’t even know what I’m having for lunch today.

“Are you seriously checking to see if I am available in 2008?”

“Yeah.”

“What is wrong with you? Wait a second here, just give me a minute. YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED!?!?!”

Matt started to laugh on the telephone. “Yes, dude, I’m getting married.”

I felt a very unusual emotion. This was the first time a real friend of mine was deciding to get married. I felt happy for him, but also confused and maybe even a little jealous. It was weird, but then it hit me. This could be a good thing. After all, before marriage comes something that every man dreams about when he hits puberty.

The big difference between men and women is that women dream about their perfect wedding when they are twelve years old. They think about the dress, the church, even the outfits that their bridesmaids are going to wear. Men, however, do not dream about their wedding. They dream about an even more important event.

“Dude, are you going to have a bachelor party?”

“Of course, dude!”

“Oh my God……OH MY GOD! HOLY CRAP! You mean that we’re going to have a bachelor party!?”

“Yes, Dave, we are, and you will be there.”

I started to cry on the phone. I was crying tears of joy.

“I’m so happy! I’m so happy for you, Matt!”