| Issue #26, September 22, 2006 |
Police Blotter
Fight In The Hood
A woman in Bridgehampton got into a physical altercation with another woman after she found her sitting on the hood of her car. By the time the cops got to the car, the woman that was sitting on the hood had fled the scene. Police and the woman both agree that it ain’t easy living on the hood.
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Kia Smack
A man in East Hampton called police after somebody smashed the rear window of his Kia in the middle of the night. Police were quoted saying, “He did you a favor. Get a new car.”
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Film Crew
In East Hampton Village, police were called in to check out a film crew that was blocking traffic on Old Beach Lane. When police got to the scene, they agreed to not ticket the film crew as long as the officers could play the part of the police officers that rescue the super-hot half naked twin sisters that are fleeing the beach from a monster.
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Lost Wallet
A man in East Hampton reported to police that he lost his wallet. When police asked him where the last place was that he saw his wallet, the man told them the last place he saw it was at a grocery store. Police later found the wallet in the bread section, however, it contained no dough.
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No Pick-Up
A restaurant in Montauk called police after they received several orders from a customer on the telephone. The restaurant made the food but the person that called never came for the food. Police agreed to eat the order.
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Strange
A man in Sag Harbor called police to report that somebody had taken his car without permission. The car was later returned to the man. But the drama didn’t end there. A day later he called police when he found that somebody had eaten his food and used his shower without permission. Police told the guy to find a new girlfriend.
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Motel Shove
An employee of a motel in Montauk reported that guest pushed him and yelled at him. When police arrived, the man said that he didn’t want to press charges, but that he did want an apology. When the shover apologized the situation became calm and police were able to leave without making any arrests. They were really close, however, to sending them both to the principal’s office.
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Urine
A woman in Sag Harbor called police after she saw a man walk up in front of her house and urinate on her property. Police told the woman that she needed to redesign her house so that it doesn’t look so much like a fire hydrant.
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Sex Offender
A man in Southampton was arrested after he had failed to register as a sex offender, as required by law for the state. After police arrested the man, they were relieved to have been able to get this guy on something, as most officers in the area were looking for a reason to get this guy off the street.
–Written and Compiled by David Lion Rattiner
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