| Issue #29, October 13, 2006 |
Blotter
’07 Bitch’s
Last week police found the words “07 Bitch’s” sprayed in red paint on Ocean Avenue in East Hampton. We have mentioned this story for a couple of reasons; the first is that it is incredibly funny that the high school girls that did this spelled “bitches” wrong, and the second is that who takes pride in calling themselves bitches? And we were excited to have an excuse to publish the word “bitches.”
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Intruder Alert
A woman in Amagansett called police and reported that an intruder had used her bathroom and slept in her beds. She also reported that garbage was left in her place. Police have ruled out Goldilocks as a suspect.
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Charges?
A man in East Hampton called police after he noticed that over $1,000 worth of charges were made to his credit card. The man was quoted as saying to his wife, “Honey, I swear, I have no idea who made those charges to the strip club. My card was stolen, I tell ya!” Police have closed the investigation and have left the matter up to the credit card company.
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Instant Messaging A Fight
A kid in East Hampton called police after he received an instant message from another kid saying that he wanted to fight. Police told the boy not to have any further contact with the rude instant messanger. They also suggested that he put the boy on his “blocked” list.
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Joy Ride
Somebody in Montauk took a car from a restaurant parking lot without asking, drove it around Montauk and then parked it at South Euclid Avenue with the keys in the ignition. This is not the first time something like this has happened in Montauk this year. The joy-rider has earned himself a legendary nick-name: Stealacars.
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By The Way
The wetsuit that we reported missing in this blotter was recovered last week by Karen Foley and returned to Dan’s Papers writer and photographer Christian McLean in perfect condition after Foley read the “wetsuit missing” article and saw one of her employees walk in with the suit. Christian later went surfing and is a very happy camper now that his wetsuit is back. It’s little things like this that make being the police blotter writer here worth it.
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Stolen Chair!
A man in Wainscott reported to police that somebody stole his green metal chair and table, worth $40, from his property last week. I got news for you buddy, nobody stole your $40 table and chair. And even if somebody did, nobody cares.
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Oh, Deer
A woman in Sag Harbor reported to police that somebody had taken 100 feet of plastic fence, two cedar posts, and four metal posts off of her property. She put up the fence to keep deer out of her yard. Police told the woman that the best way to keep deer out of her yard is to shoot them with a BB gun.
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Dude
A man in Water Mill reported that his $50 Ogio backpack, which contained $50 board shorts, a $10 t-shirt and a $350 T-Mobil Sidekick, was taken from his friend’s unlocked car. Police were quoted saying to the man, “That’s a major bummer, dude.”
–Written and Compiled by David Lion Rattiner
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