| Issue #41, January 19, 2007 |
Police Blotter
Anti-Christmas
A woman in Amagansett called police after she discovered the Christmas lights and a light globe had been torn off the front of her house. She wasn’t that upset after she learned that Christmas has been over now for almost a month.
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Post Office Trouble
A man was yelling at the Post Office about how his mail was not delivered to the right address on Gay Lane in East Hampton. The police were called and I’m sorry, we have a Post Office on a street named Gay Lane? How can anybody get angry on that street? That’s like being depressed in Disney World.
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Fireworks Bonanza
A guy in East Hampton was confronted by police after he was seen setting off illegal fireworks last week. He then admitted to detonating them. Police gave him a verbal warning to stop setting off the fireworks. Spectators of the show were extremely disappointed.
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Road Rage
A woman called the police after she was driving in Sag Harbor and another driver follower her all the way from Bridgehampton to yell at her. Apparently the other motorist was angry with her for speeding.
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Threatening Letter
Somebody in Southampton sent a threatening letter to another man who called police about the letter. After investigating, they learned that the letter had been sent with a delivery confirmation notice. Why not just challenge the guy to a duel? Or better yet, send a Dear John letter back.
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One Rocking Church
Somebody in Riverhead stole a $1,000 electronic drum set and a $300 guitar from a Church. The Rolling Stones have canceled their next show there.
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Close One
Last week there were reports of a plane crash in East Hampton that sent over 200 emergency volunteers searching through the woods of East Hampton for what turned out to be nothing. Apparently, a student pilot was receiving lessons and the flight instructor was the source of the mysterious crash report. Those guys should probably avoid driving or parking in the Hamptons for the next few weeks.
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Don’t Mess With The IRS
A man in Quogue that has been avoiding paying his taxes for the past eight years is going to spend 45 days in jail after pleading guilty to the crime. He is also being held responsible for the $1.5 million owed to the city and state. To top all of this off, the guy is a big time lawyer specializing in DEFENDING tobacco companies. He made about $4.5 million since 1998, but never thought that he should fill out a 1090 form. Jerk.
– Written and Compiled by David Lion Rattiner
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