Issue #49, March 16, 2007

Sunshine

A Solar System Decision Could Save the Presidency of George W. Bush

By Dan Rattiner

Last Sunday evening, the sun set one hour later than it had set on Saturday. It was not yet time for the traditional change to Daylight Savings Time. People were overjoyed. They could drive home from work with the sun still out. They could sit at home with their drink in their hand and watch the sunset.

Make no mistake. This is not just a change in the start of daylight savings time. This is a major coup by the Bush Administration. George W. Bush and his Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice, have persuaded the Solar System to have the sun shine for one extra hour a day every day until November 4, so that people here on Earth can save energy by not having to turn on their lights until later.

The original plan was for this to be a permanent change. But when it was seen that it could not pass, Bush changed the proposal so that it was just on a trial basis to see how it goes. The sun will shine for an extra hour until November 4, at which time the situation will be reevaluated. With this proposal on the table, the vote was 7 to 1 in favor, with the sun excusing itself for obvious reasons and Pluto not voting because of its observer status. The one negative vote came from Mercury, the closest planet to the sun, which said it was getting too much sun already.

Here on Earth, a few of the nations leaders grumbled that they had not been informed that this would happen, but the general feeling was of great satisfaction. People like sunlight. And it certainly will save on electricity.

Many political observers say that by this single act, George W. Bush may have saved his presidency. The situation might even save the situation in Iraq, where one more hour of daylight will result in an extra daily prayer to Allah. The Mullahs, we are told, are expressing great admiration for Mr. Bush. Without a doubt, this is a remarkable demonstration of diplomacy and power by this administration.

Not since President Franklin D. Roosevelt, has the sun been made to set an hour later this time of year. Roosevelt also did it to save energy during the war years — in his case, World War II. And for Roosevelt too, there was a great surge in his popularity. However, Roosevelt accomplished the extra hour only by having the sun rise one hour later in the morning, resulting in many cases with people having to drive to work in the dark. So he did not have to go through the solar system council. It was just a trick.

Many people, mostly Republicans, now say on this bright sunshiney day, that we can thank our lucky stars for George W. Bush.