Turkey Splits, Anyone?

My husband, Dr. Daniel W. Koontz, is the inventor of The Turkey Split. A composer by trade, Dr. Koontz was inspired by tales of “hot beef sundaes” being served at fairs in the Midwest. (He gets a lot of strange messages through the air—he says its National Public Radio.)

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That’s right, big slabs of turkey under three scoops of leftovers, drizzled with gravy. Nuts optional.

The beauty of the turkey split is in its physical appearance, of course, if executed correctly. The “inner beauty” is that it’s made from ingredients that you probably have in abundance right now— all you need to do is reheat them. Bonus: this is yet another way to lovingly torture your kids. Ask them: “Who wants dessert for dinner?”

We went out and bought banana split dishes for our turkey splits. They really add to the ambiance. We’ve made and enjoyed turkey splits twice in order to test them out, so we offer these pointers:

Keep it all savory—not that you would do anything “unsavory” – but don’t be tempted to mix in some of your sweet leftovers. Of course you will want to top things off with a cranberry. Peas are a nice add-on.

At our house we do a scoop each of mashed potato, mashed turnip and stuffing. You may need to moisten your stuffing a bit to get it to scoop nicely.

We darkened our usual turkey gravy with Gravy Master so that it looks more chocolate-like.

A split is a meal, pause before you go for seconds.

Turkey splits are “a good thing,” as St. Martha of the Kitchen would say. “The good doctor” has already trademarked his invention, his patent is very much pending. With Christmas coming soon, well, you might be reading about Ham Shakes next month…