Hamptons Subway Newsletter Week of March 10–16, 2013

Riders this past week: 8,889
Rider miles this past week: 82,413

DOWN IN THE TUBE
Among those seen on the Hamptons Subway late on Monday evening were Marshall Brickman, Alec Baldwin, Joan Didion, Ken Auletta, Ruth Appelhoff, Mickey Straus, Barbara Goldsmith and Nathan Lane all dressed to the nines and looking mighty fine heading east out of the Westhampton Beach station. There was the smell of champagne in the air.

SUBWAY GETS SPRING CLEANING
The Hamptons Subway system will undergo its annual spring-cleaning this week and next. All the work will be done by our “night owl” maintenance shift between 2 a.m. and 6 a.m., when the subway is closed for the night, together with a group of new docents, interns and assistants who’ve applied for jobs here.

The team will polish the subway tracks to a spit shine (the third rail will be off of course), vacuum the tracks and rail beds and, with wire brushes on long poles, scrub down all the subway tunnel walls and ceilings with soap and water. The platforms will get the same treatment. As for the smell of scraped steel and musk we have endured all winter, the tunnels and platforms are to be sprayed with the new “ocean breeze” fragrance from Chanel, diluted down to .05% for the occasion, mixed in barrels by our staff with level 50 suntan lotion. We call it “eau de l’underground.” Voila.

All this will be done in good order, after all parts of the system are checked for any remaining snowdrifts which will, of course, be removed, if found. Summer is coming!

SPURS TO THE BEACH IFFY
Many riders are wondering about the two spurs that were opened last year, the one that took riders from Main Street in Southampton to Cooper’s Beach and the other, which took riders from Main Street East Hampton to Main Beach. Both dead ends, coming out of their tunnels 10 feet up the sand dunes at the back of the beach, were damaged during the winter storms. In East Hampton, the elevator leading up from the beach to the platform was bent sideways and will have to be replaced with a new elevator that goes straight up and down. In Southampton, the tunnel ends were exposed to the air as the dunes retreated during Superstorm Sandy, but will be reburied by machines which lift the sand up and dump it over atop them, being careful not to pour any on the elevator roofs to gum up the works. All work will be completed by May 15.

SUBWAY ANNUAL REPORT ISSUED
With the fiscal year ended, Hampton Subway sent out its annual report last week, nicely bound on good paper with four-color pictures. Since Hamptons Subway is a privately held company, the numbers have not been revealed but off the record and behind the scenes, a special source with access to the report says everything is go and thumbs up. Good to know.

MOTORMAN CARL FRESCO’S 38TH BIRTHDAY
Carl Fresco, who always does things a little differently than everybody else, declined to have his birthday party in the Hamptons Subway building cafeteria as others do. This year, his was held behind the motorman’s cabin in the lead car of his train. He couldn’t come out, of course, but he did open the door briefly to blow out the candles of the cake presented to him by all his friends. This was last Thursday at noon.

COMMISSIONER ASPINALL’S MESSAGE
We received no message from the Commissioner this week. We don’t know where he is.