Hamptons Subway Newsletter Week of April 19–25, 2013

Riders this past week: 8,821

Rider miles this past week: 96,566

DOWN IN THE TUBE

Hugh Jackman and his wife, Deborra-Lee, were on the subway between Water Mill and Bridgehampton heading east for—who knows where? Martha Stewart and Matthew Broderick were seen on the platform in East Hampton sampling the food at the Subway Restaurant kiosk there.

LOST AND FOUND

Every spring, and this is no exception, Hampton Subway holds an auction of all the things lost or thrown off the subways into the tunnels on all the tracks. It’s always a surprise what people lose or chuck. This year’s auction will take place on April 22 at 7 p.m. in the big ground -floor hall of the Hampton Subway building on Ponquogue Road in Hampton Bays. This year’s items include a series of watches, antique rings, iPhones, Kindles, wallets, a walker (how does somebody lose a walker?), a stuffed alligator, a tuba, a Boston Red Sox pennant, a bag of peanuts, two cartons of Junior Mints and a small and very friendly white dog, which the subway flagmen cared for, fed and walked from a little “dog house” set up in a storage room between Amagansett and East Hampton. Also, a dog house, but for some other dog. All items will be on display for two hours before the auction and people can claim anything there if they show proper identification and can demonstrate that the alligator or dog will come when called by his or her name. There is also a very expensive—some say worth $35,000—diamond ring in attendance. During this past year at various times, at least five people have come to claim it, but none have given satisfactory explanations to subway staff strong enough to be able to take it away.

NEW MAINTENANCE CHIEF

Harold Sparks, formerly the maintenance manager of the Toronto Subway System, has been hired to replace longtime Hampton Subway manager Richard Crookman, who resigned after his judgment was questioned by the Commissioner last Thursday. The Commissioner wanted to know why a newly formed company called Subway Featherdusters had been contracted to featherdust the entire subway system this past week during the time the system is shut down and maintenance is done between 2 a.m. and 6 a.m. Subway Featherdusters is owned by Hal Crookman, Richard’s younger brother, and the matter was brought up by maintenance foreman Spike Willow, who told the Commissioner 26 young women with English accents worked nine days straight featherdusting all the tunnels and getting in the way “and just riling up the dust so it went from one place to another leaving everybody sniffling and coughing.” The bill, $64,812.33, was already paid before Richard resigned. We wish him well.

STRAIGHTAWAY TRACK STUCK

One of the new titanium railroad tracks being lowered down to the Noyac station platform has become lodged in the down escalator. It’s a straightaway track, 742 feet long, and almost half of it is sticking up at a rakish angle into the sky there. It should be wrestled down the rest of the way shortly.

In the meantime, both up and down escalators have been turned off, so just use the unobstructed escalator as stairs for now. An American flag has been attached to the top of the track sticking up. For as long as it is there, you can’t miss it.

COMMISSIONER ASPINALL’S MESSAGE

Spring is here. Everybody is just so cheerful. It makes our job easier when people are like that.