Letting Your Dog Chase a Tennis Ball at the Beach Is Now a Criminal Offense in East Hampton at All Hours of the Day

Society changes, and it largely has to do with new rules that are made that people follow. Last week it was made official, you can no longer let your dog run free at the beach in East Hampton when the beach closes down. This means that if you have a lab and like to throw a tennis ball into the ocean and have him retrieve it and bring it back to you during sunset hours in East Hampton, it’s illegal, and you could be ticketed for it.

The new law is insidious in my opinion, because it’s a classic, “You’re allowed to do—insert activity here—just under certain conditions that will continuously get more and more difficult.”

Essentially, all dogs, even if they are the friendliest, sweetest dogs in the world, are to be leashed at all times within 300 feet of the beach in East Hampton and also on the beach. It does not matter what time of day or night it is anymore. Under no circumstances can a dog run free on the beach in East Hampton. You read that correctly, when the beach is closed and it’s eight o’clock at night, you can’t unleash your dog at the beach and let him/her chase a ball or drive a seagull up into the air or jump into the water. I’m repeating it because it is just so stunningly horrible to me.

This is now completely illegal in East Hampton.

Why is this now illegal? Because dogs on the beach during closed hours bother a small minority of people who complained a lot and got village lawmakers to create the law, and the majority of people are not standing up and saying something about it.

I don’t even live in East Hampton anymore, I live in Southampton, but I do know for a fact that East Hampton used to be a dog-friendly town. Since when did being a dog owner suddenly alienate you from society in East Hampton?

Anyway, I guess everybody in East Hampton will just take it and move on. After all, you’re a nice person (of course you are, you are a dog owner) and you just want to get along with everybody and not be confrontational with the people who are making it their mission in life to, step-by-step, to make it practically illegal to own a dog outside of your home.

Maybe I’m going overboard here, but I really don’t think so. A freaking dog should be allowed to run free at the beach when the beach is closed. This is America, goddamn it.

Leave a comment here or contact your town officials and let your voice be heard if you don’t agree with this new rule. Let people know that you’re upset about it, because this isn’t just unfair to the dog owners, it’s unfair to the dogs.