All Aboard the Farhampton Love Train

Wow! If finding your soul mate was as easy as standing on the train platform and holding a yellow umbrella (ok, it took Ted Mosby on How I Met Your Mother nine seasons), we’d have no single ladies left in the Hamptons.

Are you kidding? If this is the case, why are dating sites like match.com or christianmingle.com so popular? And, if you’re a farmer, cowboy or 12-fingered alien looking for love—no problem! There’s a site specifically geared for you.

Still, after watching the much-hyped series finale of How I Met Your Mother on Monday, I realized there’s still hope for single gals living in the Hamptons. All you have to do is look for the Farhampton train stop (I believe it’s somewhere between Hampton Bays and Montauk) and go there to await your Prince Charming.

Ladies, just don’t forget to bring a yellow umbrella. Not pastel yellow or orange-yellow, but bright yellow, like the sun or a baby chick. But now that I think about it, you may want to choose a different umbrella for destiny to work its magic — because if we all stand on the platform with a yellow umbrella, things may get a bit…awkward.

I for one will go out tomorrow to purchase an array of umbrellas in different colors, just to be on the safe side. Hey, it’s all about attention to detail, and if my Ted Mosby is looking for a red or sea blue colored umbrella, I want to be fully prepared.

Wait a minute! I just had a…“LEGEN—wait for it—DARY” idea. I just need a financial backer to help launch singleontheeastendspecificallyinfarhamptonandlookingforloveat45.com.

See you in Farhampton.