Dan's Shorts: Dog Poop, Phone Scam, Hamptons Trustees, Summer White House

POOP IN THE SHOES

This is written before Election Day, so I don’t know who our next President will be, but I thought one of the most poignant comments I’ve heard about the nasty Trump campaign was made the other day by an NPR commentator. He’d spent the last month as a correspondent for NPR in Europe, and every night at the hotel where he stayed he put his shoes out in the hall to be shined.

“I’d wake up in the morning and because of the time zone difference, it would be the middle of the day in America and I would hear the election coverage already underway that day. Then I’d go out into the hall to find Donald Trump had pooped in my shoes.”

CELL PHONE CALL

I got a call on my cell phone the other day. It rather startled me. Because of texting, I rarely get calls. I answered it.

“This is your credit card service. Your card balances are fine, but we have exciting news. You have been selected to receive the unbelievably low credit card interest rate of 2% for one year. Please press 2 to speak to a representative. This offer expires at midnight.”

This was the first time I got a scam call on my cell phone. I was so surprised that I pressed 2 to tell a live person to bug off before I could help myself. At the same time, I saw the phone number of the caller displayed on my screen. It would have been easy enough to just mark them as “ignore.” But logic just wasn’t as fast as emotion.

When I pressed 2, however, the call disconnected. I suspect the scammer was as startled as I was that somebody pressed 2.

SUMMER WHITE HOUSE

There is already a summer White House in the Hamptons. It is on Main Street in East Hampton and is the home where Julia Gardiner, the young high society debutante from here that married President John Tyler in 1841, was raised. A second might be a home for Hillary and Bill Clinton, if she’s elected. They’ve been coming out east for years. Trump not so much.

THE TRUSTEES

For years, the East Hampton Trustees—a government body—have enforced the colonial law that allows locals full access to all the beaches. The law was a gift for the residents of this town from King James II in 1686. But recent events have caused problems. For one thing, a leading advocate of the Trustees—Stuart Vorpahl—has died, his voice stilled. For another, the seas are rising at the beach as a result of climate change. The loss of beach brings out hysterical oceanfront homeowners who want something done. What’s more, the Trustees know they can win 40 lawsuits in a row against people who want to take away beach rights, but if just one new lawsuit goes the other way because of a quirk in a deed found by a smart lawyer, they might allow the plaintiff to win rather than fight on. Finally, because skyrocketing real estate prices have driven locals away, there are fewer and fewer of them to fight for. A sad trend.