Welcome to our weekly recap of The Affair Season 3! Each week we’ll go over the latest developments on the show, point out Hamptons locales and scenes, and occasionally poke some fun at the often-dark drama.

Read our recap of last week’s episode here.

This week: We return to Montauk after last week’s academia adventure for more Cole and Alison drama!

Season 3, Episode 4

Cole
Our favorite Montauk hunk dreams of making sweet, sweet love to Alison, but wakes up in bed with Luisa. The two prep for Joanie’s birthday party, and Luisa is irked to find out that Alison is making Joanie’s birthday cake. Luisa gets stuck at work and can’t bring Joanie for her visit with Alison, so Cole takes her. Cole isn’t thrilled that the social worker is there for the visit. During their visit to the playground, Alison freaks out a little when Joanie goes too high on the monkey bars. At the birthday party, Oscar and Cole catch up and Oscar notes how happy Cole seems. Alison shows up with the cake, but Luisa places her own cake down. Drama! A dejected Alison stands back as the little girl blows out her candles. Joanie waves at Alison while riding a pony and falls off, and Cole lets Alison tend to her, much to Luisa’s disdain. Cole and Alison get Joanie right back on the horse. After the party, Luisa calls Cole out on his constant carrying a torch for Alison. Luisa doesn’t know how she can compete with Cole and Alison’s history. Adding to Cole’s stress, the cops show up to question him about Noah’s attack. Luisa vouches for his alibi, then privately asks him where he really was that night. Cole storms over to Alison’s and freaks out about Noah being out of prison, then verbally attacks her for all the drama she causes. All the tension is too much to handle and the two end up going at it!

Alison
Alison plays with Joanie at the playground. In this version of events, she sees Cole and the social worker talking about her as Joanie goes on the monkey bars, but Joanie is able to walk across them without Alison’s interference. Alison asks Cole if she can make Joanie’s birthday cake, and he asks her not to use nuts because Luisa’s allergic. Later, Alison meets with the court-appointed lawyer, who’s not being supportive of her efforts to improve her life. Later, Alison contemplates putting peanut butter in the birthday cake frosting, just as the detectives show up to question her about Noah’s attack. Alison puts the peanut butter away and listens to Noah’s voicemail. The next day at the party, Alison brings the birthday cake, only to find that Luisa got a bigger one. Oscar shows up and the two hang out. In this version of events, Joanie gets on a massive horse and Alison starts to have a panic attack and freaks out when she falls off. Cole comforts her and assures her Joanie’s fine. After the party, Luisa hands Alison’s cake back to her and calls her a bad mother for the thousandth time. Alison finally snaps and tells Luisa to back off. Later, Cole shows up at Alison’s and is impressed by the beautiful dollhouse she made for Joanie. The two share a moment that turns into hot sex. Go figure. The next day, Alison goes for a bike ride, but runs into Luisa, who tries to be nice. Alison goes for a swim by the lighthouse and has a nice afternoon…until she sees Noah drive by!

Our take…
Maybe we’re biased, but the Montauk stuff is infinitely more compelling than the Noah/Juliette/Helen story. Sure, Alison makes us nervous just by breathing, but it’s better than the collegiate snooze-fest that is Noah’s plot this season.

Montauk Affairs

While this episode didn’t make the best case for having ponies at your kids’ birthday party, we looked up some real-life Montauk pony party options.

Rita’s Stable offers pony rides at their ranch or yours, as well as birthday parties. Rita’s is open year-round on Westlake Drive, Montauk. ritasstable.com

Deep Hollow Ranch, which The Affair based the Lockhart ranch on, offers summer pony camp for kids, pony rides and two-hour pony parties off-site. deephollowranch.com