Gwyneth Paltrow Announces Goop Vitamins

Would you ingest goop?

Let’s back up a bit. East Ender Gwyneth Paltrow, known for her goop blog and brand, has revealed her latest venture: vitamins. But these aren’t just any clear tablets made to keep your bones strong and mood up; in true goop form, these vitamins are pretty clever and unique. But branding aside, are these vitamins any good for you? According to the website, four “goop doctors” helped create these to address four mind and body issues that plague women. Read the four vitamin “protocols” and their descriptions below.

Why Am I So Effing Tired?
“No matter how much sleep I get, I still feel exhausted.”

High School Genes
“My body isn’t responding to diet and exercise the way it used to.”

Balls in the Air
“I’m running full-steam ahead—and have no intention of slowing down.”

The Mother Load
“Motherhood is amazing, but pregnancy is taxing, in every sense of the word—I’m wiped out, and worry that I’ll never recover.”

The pills are gluten and GMO-free, manufactured in a triple GMP-certified facility (meaning it’s received three certifications for Good Manufacturing Practices) and cost $90 for one month, and $240 for three months. Just check with your doctor before swallowing anything you buy from goop (or the internet, really). Please.