Hamptons Subway Newsletter: Week of April 12–18, 2019

Week of April 12–18, 2019
Riders this past week: 46,722
Rider miles this past week: 122, 512

DOWN IN THE TUBE
Shock jock Howard Stern was seen traveling from Southampton to Water Mill with comedian Jerry Seinfeld Wednesday morning, talking baseball. Jimmy Fallon and John Oliver were seen on the subway Sunday afternoon traveling between Sag Harbor and East Hampton also talking baseball. David Sedaris was seen on the platform in Westhampton Beach waiting for an eastbound, destination unknown. And he wasn’t talking with anyone about anything.

THE GAP
The Gap clothing store is opening kiosks on all the subway platforms, next to the Subway kiosks that have been serving sandwiches and drinks. Subway, the restaurant, has had the exclusive food and beverage contract with Hamptons Subway, the subway, for the past ten years. It is an annual contract that is renewable from year to year and it has been beneficial to both the subway system and the subway food chain, executives from both parties report. The same arrangement is now being offered to the Gap.

Part of the deal with the Gap is that every time the loud speaker on the subway says, “watch out for the closing doors” followed by “and mind the gap between the car and the platform,” there is a little commercial for the Gap. The loud speaker now says, “mind the gap between car and the platform and shop at the Gap, the clothing store before you leave the station.”

Subway, the restaurant, gets to have the word Subway said and printed over and over again all over the subway system. So this is the least we could do for the Gap.

PRISONERS
Hamptons Subway has made another new arrangement for the Subway system you should know about. Beginning next Monday and for the next six weeks, 32 select “good behavior” prisoners from the Riverhead jail will be working as volunteers to paint and refurbish the McKenzie Holly House museum in Montauk. The McKenzie Holly House was recently purchased by the Town of East Hampton and is being restored to look the way it did when McKenzie Holly, the famous women’s suffragette lived in it during the 1920s. It should be open to the public on July 1.

As far as passengers on Hamptons Subway are concerned, they might see, on any eastbound platform in the morning and any westbound platform in the afternoon, the rear car of certain subway trains filled with young men in red jump suits carrying power tools. Their jump suits will be clean in the morning, full of paint and sawdust in the afternoon. As they all do, the doors to these last cars will slide open and closed when the train stops at the stations along the way, but do not get on those prisoner cars as they are for the exclusive use of the Riverhead jail. Since they are “on good behavior,” there is no armed guard with a rifle with them. But if you see one of the prisoners get up and get off to the platform and it is not at Montauk or Riverhead, shove him back on.

COMMISSIONER ASPINALL’S MESSAGE
News: Musicians sitting on blankets on the platforms at the bottom of the escalators playing music with instrument cases out for tips are allowed to do this free of charge this summer for the first time. We love music as everyone does. However, only one musician or musical group at a time is allowed at any particular platform and the rule will be first come first serve. Otherwise the musicians will just play a jumbled cacophony of sound, especially if the songs are in different keys. Wait until the existing musicians tire, then you’re on next.

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