Our Breakaway: Peconic County Naming Poll

Much to the chagrin of those on the East End, we belong to a county where we have absolutely no say about how our money is spent. The East End makes up two-thirds of Suffolk County. Yet in the county legislature, we get 2 votes, the west enders gets 17. This is terrible. The money is spent west. The east gets the crumbs.

As a result of this, the East End has tried three times to secede from Suffolk County. All efforts failed. And now there is brewing a fourth.

The name given to the new county by a local committee could be the cause. The name was Peconic County. It lacks punch. It lacks romance. It lacks passion. No wonder it has failed. We should try another name.

Hereby we present a contest. Below you will find numerous possible names for this proposed new county, courtesy of Dan’s Papers. We ask you to go to the bottom of this story and vote for one of them, or, if you’d rather, you can suggest a name yourself.

Peconic is boring and terrible. Peconic is what the Algonquin tribes living here called the water between the North and South Forks here. Naming a place after them, considering the English settlers kicked these people off the land is immoral in my opinion. Furthermore, the logic that led to this name is incorrect. The Peconic Bay, it is said, is part of the shoreline of each of our east end towns. Our five towns are like five elephants, lapping the water. Yes, Southold is on the Bay. Riverhead is on the Bay. Shelter Island is on the Bay. Southampton is on the Bay. And East Hampton is, well, not on the Bay. The small part of that town which some folks said was on Peconic Bay is in fact Northwest Bay. Ask any mariner. Having the other four elephants shoulder the East Hampton away is a crime, in my view.

Still, I suppose, you could vote for Peconic County. Here’s the list.

Peconic County

God’s County

This is one of the most beautiful pieces of earth that the Lord ever created.

Sunrise County

This is the place where Long Islanders come to watch the sun rise over the sea.

Fishtail County

Every third grader in America knows east end is the tail of the great fish of Long Island.

Fishtale County

Some of the greatest whoppers about giant
fish are told by the fishermen of the East End. Think Jaws.

Bounty County

Everyone knows that from our farms and our waters come the freshest, most abundant vegetables and fish. And it rhymes.

Windmill County

The East End towns have the largest collection of old English windmills in America. And each of our towns has at least one. Except Riverhead.

Money County

Tell it like it is. And it’s a thumb of the nose to Suffolk.

Wales County

Our neighboring counties have given themselves names from Merry Old England. Nassau. Suffolk. We could appoint a Prince of Wales. Or Whales.

Lighthouse County

The first thing immigrants see as they approach America is Montauk Lighthouse. And several more shine their lights along the way.

Osprey County

These grand creatures are surely our county bird. And we build them platforms on high wooden poles to invite them to nest, which they do.

Tranquility County

Many come here for peace and quiet and walks on the beach.

Cast your vote at below, or suggest your own name. If this fails, we’ll try again.