Hamptons Subway Commissioner Wins Award

SEEN ON THE SUBWAY

Colin Jost, the Saturday Night Live comedian, was seen boarding the subway at Sag Harbor on his way home from a sailing trip there to his home in Montauk on Saturday. Also on Saturday, Sir Paul McCartney was spotted reading Dan’s Papers while strap-hanging in the front luxury car heading west between Southampton and Hampton Bays.

Billionaire Michael Rubin, chief of the Fanatics global digital sports platform, was seen standing on the Bridgehampton platform holding some kind of sports trophy on Friday, heading westbound. Sarah Jessica Parker and her longtime mate Matthew Broderick were enjoying a footlong at the new subway restaurant kiosk on the Southampton platform last Thursday around noon.

IN BRIEF

The F train shuttle between Shinnecock Hills and Sunrise Highway was shut down for an hour and a half on Saturday afternoon between 3:45 p.m. and 4:15 p.m. due to a disturbance involving electioneering.

Advisory: All A trains between East Hampton and Amagansett will be shut down between 2 a.m. and 5 a.m. on Sunday, July 23 for track maintenance.

Employee of the Week: Ben Harris, Union Chief, Maintenance Crew, Montauk Yard.

Delays: There will be numerous delays along the entire subway line for the next few days as the Department of Homeland Security does a thorough search of all the stations and lines.

Advisory: Officials from the U.S. Department of Transportation will be inspecting the new subway tunnel between Shinnecock and Sunrise for construction irregularities next Monday.

Wanted: German shepherd guard dogs. Will pay top dollar, depending upon the level of training. Call 631-4SUBWAY.

HAMPTONS SUBWAY COMMISSIONER RECEIVES AWARD

At the annual Western Hemisphere Subway Managers Convention held at the Mayan Towers Hotel in Cancun, Mexico on Tuesday, Hamptons Subway Commissioner Bill Aspinall accepted the winning trophy on behalf of Hamptons Subway for the 2023 first prize in the cleanliness category, Northeastern United States, under 100 miles division.

In his acceptance speech, he noted that he was proud of our subway’s accomplishments and that it was his Adopt-A-Platform program, modeled on the state Adopt-A-Highway program that keeps our roads and avenues clean, that made this award possible.

“We will prominently display this award in our trophy case in our office in Southampton along with the other awards we have been given over the years,” he said. “We are proud of this accomplishment.”

The convention, which was attended by subway commissioners and managers from all over the Americas and from as far away as Fiji, lasted for three days and featured, among other things, a high-diving exhibition with flaming torches given by the staff of the Mayan Towers, tennis and golf tournaments, a grand buffet dinner and dancing. Each participant attended at least one seminar during his or her stay. Aspinall’s was “Platform Overload and What to Do About It.”

COMMISSIONER ASPINALL’S WEEKLY MESSAGE

The unexpected shutdown of our new Shinnecock Hills to Sunrise Highway Shuttle last Saturday afternoon was caused by one of our Town Board candidates illegally electioneering on our Shinnecock Hills Platform by handing out leaflets, being confronted by subway officials reminding him that this is against the rules of the Hamptons Subway, and then his throwing all his remaining leaflets, of which there were more than a thousand, onto the tracks in front of the arriving shuttle. He was subsequently arrested.

I am told by the subway board that — inasmuch as the election is right around the corner, we live in a small town where everybody knows everybody and this candidate is the brother-in-law of the subway board chairman — I would be ill-advised in this newsletter to name names because it could certainly adversely affect the outcome of the upcoming election.

I will respect this decision, but I would like to say that this behavior angered me very much, which is something that I didn’t need as I was attending an important subway conference in Mexico at the time. I will say that the rules are quite clear and are posted on the stairways leading down to all subway platforms in the system.

It clearly reads “No Electioneering,” among many other things on the list, and if they were not on the stairway of the new Shinnecock-Sunrise shuttle line because the sign was a finishing touch that had not yet been bolted onto the wall of this brand-new stairway, it is no excuse, in my opinion. Everyone knows the rule. No electioneering means no electioneering.

And, I might add, that also means no pamphlets or other election leaflets that could become debris, as these did. It was very fortunate that the shuttle was only going 5 miles per hour when it encountered all these leaflets on the tracks. It could have been a lot worse.

But just because it wasn’t doesn’t make it right. I would also suggest, and as I said I will not give out this candidate’s name, that this man, by demonstrating his anger in this way before being handcuffed and taken off, has certainly lost my vote, no matter whose brother-in-law he might be.

To clean up the mess, we had to turn off the third rail and, for an hour and a half, have workmen down there chasing these election leaflets fluttering around through the tunnels, because, among other things, there is a constant breeze blowing along this newly constructed tunnel. We have not yet figured out where it is coming from, but I assure you we will. As I said, this is a new station.

In any case, I want you and your family to have a wonderful local election day and be sure to take your family out of doors for at least 30 minutes every day to catch some vitamin D courtesy of Mr. Sun out there. We do allow our employees those 30 minutes every day here at Hamptons Subway. And we urge other employers in the community to offer this break too.

See you on the subway!