Ask Beatty: Summer Is Almost Over, So How Are You Doing?

It’s hard to believe how quickly the summer months have flown by. Hopefully, you’ve been one of the lucky ones who’s had a chance to rest, unwind and reset. For those of us who have been fortunate to be able to spend some time in the Hamptons, I hope that the natural beauty that surrounds us has helped to calm some of the chaos and uncertainty that we all experience from time to time- both in our personal and professional lives.

The transition back to a new season of school, work and a life of more regimented responsibility is often difficult for many, especially in a world beset by threats of upticks in viruses, war, violence, political and economic upheaval, ecological devastation and unimaginable suffering of people around the world. The mental health crisis hitting Americans shows no sign of abating, with provisional numbers for 2022 showing suicides rose by another 2.6% last year.

That follows an overall 5% increase in suicides in 2021, say officials at the U.S. Centers for Disease Control. Other social indicators such as depression, domestic violence and substance abuse show correspondingly higher rates. As of 2020, suicide is the second leading cause of death for U.S. children ages 10–14, preceded only by unintentional injury. And 50% of young adults ages 18–24 in the U.S. reported anxiety and depression symptoms in 2023.

It’s always easy to avoid and deny and blame others for our problems. The ongoing challenge for all of us is to be ready and willing to step up to the plate and take responsibility and deal with our issues that continue to get in the way of our lives and relationships. Remember we can’t change anyone, only ourselves. I hope that I have convinced you that we don’t need to take this journey on our own. When your game plan is not working, give yourself permission, like professional athletes, to work with the experts who can help you develop new and better life strategies.

IT’S TIME FOR YOUR SELF-ASSESSMENT

Every week on my “Ask Beatty Show” on the Progressive Radio Network, I ask my listeners to honestly evaluate how well or how badly they are doing in various aspects of their lives, including their mental health, relationships, work, finances and health. So now that summer is almost over and we are moving into a new season, why not check in with yourself and make sure that you are on track.

On a scale of 1–10, how is your general mood? If you are finding that you are consistently functioning at a 5 or less, it may be time to have both a physical and a mental health assessment that will help you get to the bottom of why you’re feeling down and, more importantly, determine what steps you need to take to begin to feel better. For example, could your medications or even your diet be causing or exacerbating your depression or anxiety? Medications that rev up your body or brain, such as stimulants or antidepressants, are some of the most common ones that can cause anxiety.

That’s especially true if you’ve recently started taking a new medication or changed the dosage of an existing one. Steroids, too, come with side effects, especially with long-term use. These include swelling, high blood pressure, mood swings and, yes, anxiety. And did you know that research shows that anxiety and mood disorders commonly co-occur with alcohol abuse? The more a person drinks, the more likely they are to develop depression.

Or is there something situational that is going on that is causing you distress? How are your relationships with family, friends, your spouse or partner or colleagues? Are any of these relationships causing you angst?

What about your work? Do you enjoy what you are doing? Is your work in alignment with your values or is it causing you major stress? What about money? Are you spending responsibly? I see many people who are in debt over their heads and constantly stressed, yet refuse to reign in these habits.

Whatever that is getting in the way of your peace and serenity is not worth your continued suffering. Today is a new day. Make a commitment to yourself to acknowledge, address and resolve (as best as you can) the issues in your life that steal your joy and happiness.

THE CHOICE POINT: FUNCTIONAL IMAGERY TRAINING (FIT)

A couple of weeks ago at Authors Night in East Hampton, I had the pleasure to meet Joanna Grover, LCSW who, along with her co-author Jonathan Rhodes, Ph.D., wrote The Choice Point, a scientific, evidence-based program to help push past mental walls and achieve your goals. Merging mindfulness, motivational interviewing and cognitive behavioral therapy into a user-friendly model, their book grants us control of the decisions that define us. They’ve trained Olympians, C-Suite executives and elite forces in the military to hack their auto pilot systems and break records in their respective fields.

I loved the book and agree that it is a road map that can lead us all from passengers to drivers in our own minds. All we need to do is be open to other possibilities: to visualize and imagine a better life, and be willing to take whatever steps are necessary to make it happen.

Beatty Cohan, MSW, LCSW, AASECT is a nationally recognized psychotherapist, sex therapist, author of For Better for Worse Forever: Discover the Path to Lasting Love, columnist, national speaker, national radio and television expert guest and host of the weekly “Ask Beatty Show” on the Progressive Radio Network. She has a private practice in NYC and East Hampton. Beatty would love to hear from you. You can email your questions and comments to BeattyCohan.msw@gmail.com. For more info, go to beattycohan.com.