Time Machine Presents Trump & Biden Debate 6 Months from Now

Some of you may know about this thing on your computer called “Time Machine.” You can click on it and go back in time. See what was on your computer back then.

What they don’t tell you about is the click forward space. It just came out of beta testing and those in the know are trying it. And you can too.

It really works! Here’s what happened at the first U.S. presidential debate between former President Donald Trump and President Joe Biden six months from now.

Future Trump vs. Biden Debate

BIDEN: Here’s a man who will steal away all our liberties. He’s been indicted for, well, many, many times.

TRUMP: You’ve been indicted too, Joe. Crooked Joe.

BIDEN: I’ve never been indicted all these times. Just that one time for the DWI.

TRUMP: If you’d ever been elected president legally you could have a chauffeur take you places. My chauffeur did. Johnson City, Texas. Great place. Great people.

BIDEN: Have we ever elected a man running for president who has been convicted of all these DWIs? When that happens, who is running the country?

TRUMP: I play golf.

BIDEN: I win at pickleball. When is the last time you won at whatchamacallit?

TRUMP: I shot an 82 once. Twice my age. That’s never happened. Ever.

BIDEN: 82 is the number of things I did for my country last Thursday.

TRUMP: I’m finally glad to hear you admit that. We’ll spread the word. You can’t play volleyball in your backyard. It disturbs the neighbors.

BIDEN: And where were you on Christmas Day last July 4 when you and your motorhead friends invaded the Capitol?

TRUMP: There are many countries that should be invaded. Turkey for example. I love Turkey. Or Montezuma. Some have names I can’t even pronounce. Like Saskatchewan. We need to knock some sense into Saskatchewan. I can do it in a New York minute when I’m elected.

BIDEN: Kuala Lumpur is a wonderful country. I’ve visited there many times.    You are insulting the people of Kuala Lumpur.

TRUMP: Do you realize who these people are? Drug addicts. Pickpockets. Snake Oil salesmen. Foreigners. And they speak a language that nobody understands.  I’m gonna bang some heads together there.

BIDEN: Bang? You’re talking gunshots? How many knives do you own? Admit it.

TRUMP: Everybody loves me. People love me more than since J. Edgar Hoover ran for president. Look at these crowds.

BIDEN: J. Edgar Hoover never ran for president. He was the president. So was Coolidge.

TRUMP: Crooked Joe.

BIDEN: We need bullets for Bonzo.

TRUMP: Old black Joe. Joe Palooka. Joey, Joey, Joey. What do you think of that? I remember when Joe Louis knocked out Jersey Joe Walcott. One punch. Eleventh round. When I’m elected, that’s what you’ll get.

BIDEN: Trump will steal not only our liberties. He’ll also steal our libraries and librarians. And Labrador. Who are very important people.

TRUMP: Maybe for you in Delaware, but not in Saskatchewan.

BIDEN: Well, we can agree on that. But that’s it.

TRUMP: Worst president we’ve ever had. Terrible. Terrible Joe. Joe, Joe, Joe.  Palooka.

BIDEN: If he wins, I lose. Think about it.