Protecting the Time, Identity Theft & More Dan's Hamptons Moments

I recently bought an Apple Watch and I’m here to tell you about the one feature it offers that takes a great load off my mind. It’s about stopping the people who want to steal my identity.

Until I got my Apple Watch, I wore a Bulova Surveyor watch on my wrist. It offered no protection against people who would wish to steal the time, and then further personal information, from me. People didn’t even have to ask for the time. If they wanted to know it, all they had to do was glance at my wrist and there it was. For example, if it was 2:30 in the afternoon, the Bulova would show them it was 2:30 in the afternoon. And they’d go on from there.

My Apple Watch has put a stop to that. Its feature is on all Apple Watches and it’s not much talked about, but it’s there. And it’s very important.

Scammers and others now look at my wristwatch and all they see is a blank screen. They might then ask me what the time is. And if I want to, I don’t have to tell them.

You have to know my password in order to see the time on an Apple Watch. I know it by heart and I can enter it if I wish. When I do, the watch springs to life. Those I allow to see it are able to do so. Those I choose not to get to see it, well, I just smile, don’t do the password and say that’s privileged information. Try somebody else. Everyone knows once they get the time, your height, weight, blood type and bank accounts are toast.

There is a small fault in the design of the current Apple Watch in this regard, however. And it’s this. If I enter the password for somebody I know wishing to know the time, it shows it, but then it stays on for about 15 seconds before going blank again.

This puts me in the position, with scammers skulking around, of having to guard the time with my other hand. I have to place it over the face of the watch on my other wrist for 15 seconds. It would be better if it went blank after five seconds. It wouldn’t be so awkward to have my hand over it for that shorter time. And people wouldn’t be tempted to say, “What’s with you and the watch?” so readily.

Well, my Apple Watch is Series 9. And because others have commented on this, I think that in the new version coming out in November, it will be fixed.

I’ve also learned that the newest version of the iPhone expected out in October is going to have updates on other features.

One fix will repair the program which was supposed to allow you to play the music of your choice when you get put on hold. In the current version, when you click on the app and select your song, it instead plays the Billy Joel song “Uptown Girl” until the hold ends, whether you like it or not.

They will also fix the program which activates your iPhone camera to automatically take a 20-second video of you when you exhibit a bad habit — such as picking your teeth or trying to get the wax out of your ears. Although Apple intended this to be helpful, it turns out that many people objected to the short videos showing bad habits of below the waist parts when the iPhone is in your pocket. That option is being removed. Another objection to a particular action, the controversial part that automatically posts the above-the-waist videos on your Facebook page each day at 5 p.m., however, remains.

SWANS IN TOWN POND

You may have noticed what you think is a mute swan couple that have taken up residence in East Hampton’s Town Pond. This is the first time in five years we’ve had swans in the pond. Before that, the swans were there every single day all summer. But this year’s swans periodically take off and go elsewhere for a few days at a time. Turns out they are not mute swans, but Weekender Swans. Experts tracking them say they also nest in New York’s Central Park. So they are here for long weekends, and then, not.

DRIVING INTO THE HEDGES INN

Sometimes, motorists driving over 90 miles an hour fail to make the 90-degree left turn at the end of Woods Lane to come onto Main Street in East Hampton. When that happens, their cars wind up driving into the pond. Or worse, they never turn but go straight across the front lawn and up onto the front porch of The Hedges Inn 50 yards on.

Lots of solutions to this problem have been proposed. Here’s the one that will work best.

Hire Hugh King to stand on Woods Lane 50 yards before the turn. For many years, he’s dressed up as the Town Crier to give tours to visitors. Drivers heading toward the turn will see him in his black waistcoat and stovepipe hat waving his lantern and ringing the bell at oncoming traffic.

They’ll slow down and make that turn every time.

MY MAGICAL POWERS

On June 1, I left off rooting for the Mets and began rooting for the Yankees. At the time, the Mets were in last place with a record of 24–35 while the Yankees had the best record in baseball at 40–19. I did this because at the beginning of the season, the Yankees hired a local kid from Eastern Long Island, Marcus Stroman, to pitch for them. They’re paying him $37 million. I could watch him win. And he did.

This was a cosmic shift. My family knows my magical powers. I’d been rooting for the Mets for 60 years. They said bad things would happen if I switched allegiance.

During June and July, without me rooting for them, the Mets streaked into contention. They won 33 and lost only 22 during that period. Meanwhile, the Yankees, in spite of having Stroman, collapsed. The Yankees won 20 but lost 36. And now, in August, Stroman, as a Yankee, is pitching terribly.

My magical powers are extraordinary. And this is my fault. Should I go back to the Mets?

To read more of Dan Rattiner’s columns, visit DansPapers.com/voices/dan-rattiners-stories.