Was Justin Timberlake Doing His Community Service on the Hampton Subway?

Sir Paul McCartney of Amagansett was seen talking to the motorman aboard a train headed from East Hampton to Sag Harbor. He was very polite, but was hoping to get the motorman to hurry up because he had to go from one event at Guild Hall to another at Bay Street with little time between. The motorman did crank it up a notch for this talented musician.

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE’S COMMUNITY SERVICE

Was that singer, Justin Timberlake, seen at all the stations last week sticking his head out of certain subway train windows to see that it is safe to close the sliding doors now that all the passengers were on? Yes it was.

Timberlake was sentenced to a $500 fine and 40 hours of community service in a Sag Harbor courtroom last week after pleading to a lesser charge of impaired driving due to alcohol consumption. And so he volunteered to do this job on the subway. People cheer when they see him doing it. But we did have to train him not to leave his head out there after the sliding doors closed.

A FILM FESTIVAL DISAPPOINTMENT

Last year, films being shown at the Hampton Film Festival were on the same schedule also shown on screens put up in all subway cars for the occasion. It was a marketing thing. We are not doing at this year, however. Too many riders just went round and round the subway system watching the films to their end. If riders agree not to do that in the future, we will consider bringing that perk back for next year.

ELEVATOR INSTALLED AT SOUTHAMPTON

The first elevator access to the train platforms has been installed at our Southampton stop. Disabled people or anyone else who so desires can press the button on the elevator frame directly adjacent to the stairs going down to the stop at the corner of Main Street and Hampton Road. The elevator goes three levels down to the track level, and then, if you press the uppermost button, you can go back up to the street.

This is a great improvement in our access as mandated by the federal government for providing easy access to the platform.  Unfortunately, since Southampton is the only station to have this little “plus,” you can only go off on a subway ride and get back up to the street by returning to Southampton.  Hopefully, if Governor Hochel can find the money, we will have a second elevator at another platform by 2026.

Meanwhile, shuttle busses will bring anybody with a disability card to the Southampton station and its fancy new stainless steel and mahogany trimmed spanking new elevator for a free trip down and up.

MORNING SUBWAY SERVICE DELAYED UNTIL 6:15 AM LAST THURSDAY

The usual 5 a.m. opening of the subway system for the morning rush failed to occur on time last Thursday due to a 3 a.m. subway train demonstration that went awry.

The cause of the delay was a new jet engine powered subway car made in Sweden that was sent around the sixty mile subway system at 3 am as a test. The system is normally closed from 2 to 5 am for maintenance. So it seemed like a good idea at the time.

The sound of it firing up woke many residents in Montauk as it roared off from the Montauk Yards before diving down underground. It then set a speed record, going through East Hampton, Southampton, Westhampton and then Noyac, Sag Harbor and back out to Montauk in less than three and a half minutes without stopping.

“I was greatly disappointed it was unable to stop at the stations,” the Commissioner said.  “It would be very difficult for straphangers to use it if it did not stop at the stations.”

The train was taken out of service at 4:30 a.m. after making more than 100 revolutions around the circuit without stopping, resulting in some minor damage to the tracks that took until 6:15 a.m. to repair. We regret the delay.

COMMISSIONER ASPINALL’S MESSAGE

The program to install new shock absorbers beneath the subway cars during the last three weeks has finally been completed.  We had so many complaints about this operation while it was going on.  Why didn’t we do the operation all in one night? (It took three weeks.) Why was the subway car I was on not one of those with the new shocks? (We timed the installations at random so no one subway train would complete the program any sooner than any other, to assuage an earlier complaint.) The new shocks seem barely better than the old.  Was this some kind of scam? (What a bunch of babies.)

As I mentioned last week, the total number of shocks delivered fell one short of what we ordered – this always happens when we get new shocks – so one subway car does not have all four new ones. The first person who can properly identify this car by its number on the side wins one free subway token for future use.  Write Absorber Contest, Box 82-2221, Hampton Bays, NY 11942.